Thursday, April 23, 2009

Peace and Patience

Currently, I am doing a study called Living Beyond Yourself with Beth Moore. Recently, we covered Peace & Patience as one of the fruits of the spirit. Patience is something I've been dealing with since I gave birth to my son almost 10 months ago. I first began the quest for "patience" by asking God for just that. However, I quickly changed my request from "Lord, please give me patience" to "Lord, please give me peace" after reading "A Beautiful Offering" by Angela Thomas. In this book, she goes through the beatitudes..."blessed are the peacemakers...". Thomas writes in her book (prepare yourself, this is lengthy)...

"Maybe the woman who has become a peacemaker would look something like this: She has surrendered her life to God and she's not mad about it. She is learning to trust Him with the outcome, and, even beyond trust, she anticipates that His plan will be more exciting and better than she could have imagined. She tends the hearts of those she loves. Petty details decline in value. Love matters more. She is beginning to see what counts for eternity and gives her attention accordingly. She is interruptible. She looks into the eyes of neighbors and strangers and the goofy friends of her kids and sees the person who wants to be loved and valued and applauded. She understands that life doesn't always turn out right and people don't turn out right and just about everything needs to be covered with forgiveness. She is slow to mumble stupid words of discouragement. She considers when it is appropriate to become angry. She is way past appearances and pretense. She surrounds herself with passionate contentment."

It was then that I realized that it wasn't patience I needed, it was peace. Without peace, I couldn't get through the frustrating feedings, the senseless screaming, etc. Patience to me was what I needed to endure those days, but peace! Peace is what I needed to endure and still enjoy those days...not ending up totally frustrated and worn out! I immediately changed my prayer and boy did God answer. Of course, I still loose my peace at times but we'll always be a work in progress, right? 

Now for patience, and Beth Moore's study....Day 4 of patience talked about forgiveness. I was recently very hurt by someone and needed to forgive them. I have said the words to the person needing the forgiveness. However, I can't shake the fact that I was hurt by the situation and that maybe I just let the person off the hook for what they did. This fact made me wonder if, in fact, I did forgive this person. I was consoled by Beth Moore's encouragement that forgiving someone quickly does NOT mean that we are "letting them off the hook" and that hurt still may be present. I can now truly believe that I did forgive the person. I thank God that I have that ability to forgive such a deep hurt with sincerity and move on with my life. I know that time will heal the hurt but it feels good to know that I do not have a body chained around my neck due to my lack of forgiveness. 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

New Doctor

I had my first appointment with my new doctor today. We recently had to switch to Kaiser so I had no choice but to leave the doctors that I love and find a new one. Dr. Kimberly Bernard is my new doctor. She's nice enough. I'll be delivering at GBMC now which I am excited about. Today's appointment went well. Grayson's heartrate sounded really good and everything else seems to be in line. My only...yet huge....vent is their stupid scale!!! According to IT, I've gained eight pounds in the past TWO weeks!!! This is ludicrous and I'm pretty sure...IMPOSSIBLE. Considering the fact that up 'til now I've only gained a total of 7 lbs this entire pregnancy, it seems hardly likely that I would gain 8 lbs in 2 weeks and not notice. So as of now...I'm not counting weight gain...unless I can somehow get to my old doctors office and find out how much I REALLY weigh. 

Anyway, in other news...Weston is doing awesome. Not walking yet but getting around just the same. We celebrated his first easter which was so much fun! I'll have to get around to posting his picture with the easter bunny! It's the cutest ever. We spent the day with family. Nothing too exciting but it was nice to see my sister and the rest of my family. 


Friday, April 3, 2009

Fifth Prenatal Appointment and First Word!

I had my fifth prenatal appointment the other day. It was the last with my current doctor. As of April 1st, our insurance had to change to Kaiser Permanente. I am now on the hunt for another doctor. Anyway, my appointment went well. I gained another 4 lbs. My blood pressure and baby's heart rate was good. She measured my belly but didn't tell me how long it was. Dr. Hoffman is so awesome, I'm really going to miss her! 

Weston also had a doctors appointment this week. His last with Carroll Children's Center. Also sad about that. He weighs only 18 lbs 3 oz. That makes him in the 10th percentile for weight. My tiny boy! He is 28 1/2 inches long, which makes him in the 60th percentile for height. Doctor says he's doing great! I love when they ask me about stranger anxiety, all the while he's laughing and talking to the nurse and doctor....strangers! It's pretty clear there's no anxiety at all there! I told Dr. Chung that I gave Weston an egg already...I was sure I would be scolded but he said that it was no big deal! 

Weston also said his first word! It was "mama"!  I will record the day being yesterday, April 3rd, since that's the first time Mike heard him say it and he's been saying it loud and clear since then! We're working on "dada" now! 

More updates later! :)