Week 1: 365

This is my first week of Project 365 so bare with me. I almost forgot a couple days but I promise the pictures will get better! :)

June 27, 2009: Weston's First Birthday Party! Here he is trying to give Mike kisses with cake all over his face. Precious.

June 28, 2009: After driving 3 hours to Ocean City, Weston was excited for Nanna and Big Pop to get there so we could get settled into the condo.


June 29, 2009: Weston's first time to the beach! Here is Mike and Weston getting ready to test the waters...Weston didn't like it very much.



June 30, 2009: Weston's Birthday! We took him to Assateague to see the wild horses. He was more concerned with us NOT putting him in the water but the horses were beautiful.

July 1, 2009: Back to work. At church, we're putting a new children's wing together. Here is Weston breaking in the newly installed highchair table.

July 2, 2009: 11:45 p.m. and forgot to take a picture today so here is my belly! It'll be nice to remember how big I was anyway. Grayson still has another 4 weeks in there!


July 3, 2009: After a fun game night, Mike and I getting ready to sleep! Again, I forgot to take a picture of the fun but oh well....I'll get better at this!

Dreams...

While I realize that sometimes a dream you have may mean nothing at all, I do believe that sometimes God gives us dreams for a specific purpose. That being said, let me recap a dream I had last night....

I was staying at my parents house with Weston. For some reason I don't believe that anyone was staying at the house with us. They were all packing to go somewhere. I'm sitting in the living room with Weston and all the sudden a snake comes across the floor and tries to attack us. I scream and panic, covering Weston for safety and run into my old bedroom where Weston's playpen is set up. I look up and there's another snake hanging from the ceiling. I go out of the room to look for my dad. I'm looking and looking and finally get his attention to come look for this snake. I practically have to beg him to believe me and help me kill the snakes. I realize that the snake that was on the ceiling has now fallen into the playpen with Weston who is trying to play with it. Thankfully he is not bitten and I kill this first snake (while still waiting for my dad to show up). I'm pleading with my dad again, assuring him that there IS another snake and I want to find it and kill it! I need my son to be safe! I look over and see the other snake (much bigger this time) slinking around. My brother Shane grabs the snake at the direction of my dad and proceeds to bite its head off in order to destroy it. Totally gruesome I know...

While normally I would think nothing of a dream like this, I have to believe that this dream definitely has some significance. I realize that the snake in this dream is representative of the snake in life that seeks to destroy us daily. That being said, let me retell this dream in the way I believe God is telling it to me. I'm at my Father's house...feeling alone spiritually. I feel the need to protect my loved ones in any way possible. I see that the devil is coming to attack and I do what I can to destroy it, meanwhile praying for God to help me. The first attack...I defeat on my own knowing my Father is coming to help. But there's a greater threat. One that is plotting to get alone with my children...seeking the opportunity to "play" with him more in his playpen. I'm pleading and pleading with the Father but I can't do it alone...I need my Brothers (and Sisters) in Christ to help me out in this one because the devil has come back bigger and badder this time! With the direction of the Father my family is able to defeat this beast. It is not pretty...it's a gruesome and disgusting defeat but finally, my family is safe.

I'm definitely awakened by this dream. I know that I am going to have a continual battle in this life to protect my family from the snakes of this world. I feel challenged to pray, and pray harder than ever before because a simple plead will not defeat the enemy alone. I need support!

Lord, Thank you for your insight and your new challenge for my life. I pray that daily I feel that challenge and get on my knees pleading for the salvation of my children. I know that the devil has a plan to seek, kill and destroy but my faith is bigger than that plan and I will do anything to destroy the SNAKE!!! Lord, I call on you for your guidance, your support and expertise on raising my children. I know they may try to "play" with snake at times and may even get bitten but father I rebuke the poison that may infest their blood and I speak healing over every bite! The devil CAN NOT and WILL NOT have my family!!! Lord, raise me up to be a mighty warrior, ready for every battle! Armed and dangerous against the enemy! As for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord! There is no room for snakes here...I'm ready to exterminate!

Praise you!
Amen!

Catching Up

I had another prenatal visit on June 24th. Everything still looking good although I'm feeling so ready to have this baby! I gained another pound and I'm so proud of myself! :) Not that I'm trying to brag on the fact that I've only gained 20/21 pounds so far but I think God just knows me so well. If I had gained like 60 pounds it would a) really make me feel like crap about myself and b) not want to even bother trying to get all the weight off. Knowing that I will drop this weight pretty quickly gives me the motivation to get the rest off as well...you know that weight that had nothing to do with the baby but everything to do with lack of self-control and stress! It's going to happen and I can't wait!

In other news...Weston turned one this week. I can't believe how this past year flew! My little baby who could barely hold his own head up just one year ago has flourished into this independent determined toddler who struts around on his own two feet exploring the world! It's amazing. I love that boy so much! His birthday party was a blast! Going through the summer huge and pregnant pays off when you can give your child an awesome pool party every year for their birthday. Something I never had since my birthday is in March.

On Weston's actual birthday we were in Ocean City with my mother and father in law. It was so much fun! I really enjoy spending time with them. We went to Assateague and saw the wild ponies. Can I just tell you how much God's glorious splendor is in that! I'd never been before and was just totally amazed that these horses just roam the ocean shore. What a life!!!

Other craziness....we've been working hard at church to get the children's wing together for the launch of our new classrooms and such. It's hard work but it's definitely paying off. The rooms are looking awesome and I can't wait to see how God moves with this new move...I know he's going to grow this church into an awesome ministry for all types of family and I'm just so happy to be a part of the children's ministry and be able to watch children weekly learn about God's love!

Yet another prenatal visit...

Back to the doctors again...for some reason it feels like that's all I've done for the past two years! :) Gained another pound..that makes 20 total. Not too bad. Blood pressure was awesome and babies heart beat is rockin'! He still moves like out of control but I love it. Knowing this is probably the last time I will feel these sensations, I'm just trying to soak it all in. I'm measuring right on at 32 cm. I can't believe there's still 8 weeks left...maybe. I'm really not trying to rush it, I want this baby healthy and hearty. I can't wait to have my two boys together though. Having one is such an awesome thing, two is going to make me explode with joy and happiness. I go back to the doctors in 2 weeks...woo hoo! 

By the way...I'm learning to praise God in everything....a hard thing to do but I am working on it. Amazing how God's timing works with life lessons.  

8th Prenatal

On May 27th I had another prenatal appointment. Everything is looking really good. I was measuring a week as far as pubic symphysis goes although I didn't gain any week between this and last appointment. Grayson's heartbeat was good and strong. He's definitely moving around a ton! It's so crazy. I don't remember Weston moving around so much. I got the results of glucose test and everything was normal there. 

Weston is walking! On May 17th, he took his first two steps! It was out of nowhere. He was barely standing at the time...now he's totally walking around like a pro. It's so amazing to watch him. When he first starting walking he would take like 3 steps and then lunge into my arms. Makes me think about how we will be when we walk toward Jesus for the first time...we'll be so excited and thrilled we'll just lunge the rest of the way into his open and secure arms! :) 

It's crazy watching time fly right by me...Weston is almost one and Grayson will be here so soon. I know it's going to be hard but I can't help but just think how proud I am going to be watching my two boys grow and learn together. I know that God has such an awesome plan for both of my children and the fact that I have a front seat to that plan blows my mind! What did I do to deserve such a thing? God obviously sees way more potential in me than I do in myself and I'm so grateful for that. I'm sure glad to live life (the best I can) by His standards and not my own. Otherwise, I would be no one, going nowhere, making no impact whatsoever! Thank you Lord for butting in my life!!! :) 

7th Prenatal Visit (I think...)

Today I had another appointment at Kaiser. Still not thrilled with it but I guess any doctor is better than no doctor. I had to do my glucose test and get blood drawn. I don't know when the results of that will come in but I'll check online in a couple of days. I think I gained another 4 lbs. Not too bad this time and doesn't surprise me. I've been eating everything! Blood pressure was good and baby's heart was nice and strong. I will start going every 2 weeks now! I can't believe how time has flown! I'm in my third trimester and quite honestly I am feeling it. Sleeping is so difficult because I am so uncomfortable. I don't remember having quite such a hard time with Weston. Oh well, I can bear it another 3 months knowing I'll forget all the discomfort as soon as I set eyes on my precious little boy. 

Weston never ceases to amaze me. He's getting over a double ear infection and even with all that, he still maintains such a positive attitude. Don't get me wrong, we have our bad days, but he is such a pleasant child. Even the doctor couldn't believe how happy he was considering that both his ears were infected. I thought he had given up formula and the bottle for good, but turns out he just didn't want to suck because it was bothering his ears, so now he's back to about 20 oz. a day. I'll be switching him to milk soon though. For the first time the other day (at the library) he let go of a shelf he was holding onto and stood for a couple seconds. He's done it a few times since then. This is good progress toward walking...yay!!! Speaking of the library, he absolutely loves to go! It has new and exciting toys and all these other little people walking around that are his size! I enjoy taking him and meeting moms. Of course, most people look at me like I'm crazy with my big ol' belly and my 10 1/2 month old on my hip but whatever! I couldn't be happier with the lot I was given! 

You know what's really frustrating? When you are in complete nesting mode but can't find the time or energy to actually nest! I want my house like spotless but can't seem to get it there. I want to get Grayson's room together but that's proving difficult since we don't really have anything yet. Not that we need anything really, but we will be getting furniture and all down the road at some point. 

Well I have to wake Weston up now so he'll go to sleep for the night in an hour. Til next time!! :) 

Peace and Patience

Currently, I am doing a study called Living Beyond Yourself with Beth Moore. Recently, we covered Peace & Patience as one of the fruits of the spirit. Patience is something I've been dealing with since I gave birth to my son almost 10 months ago. I first began the quest for "patience" by asking God for just that. However, I quickly changed my request from "Lord, please give me patience" to "Lord, please give me peace" after reading "A Beautiful Offering" by Angela Thomas. In this book, she goes through the beatitudes..."blessed are the peacemakers...". Thomas writes in her book (prepare yourself, this is lengthy)...

"Maybe the woman who has become a peacemaker would look something like this: She has surrendered her life to God and she's not mad about it. She is learning to trust Him with the outcome, and, even beyond trust, she anticipates that His plan will be more exciting and better than she could have imagined. She tends the hearts of those she loves. Petty details decline in value. Love matters more. She is beginning to see what counts for eternity and gives her attention accordingly. She is interruptible. She looks into the eyes of neighbors and strangers and the goofy friends of her kids and sees the person who wants to be loved and valued and applauded. She understands that life doesn't always turn out right and people don't turn out right and just about everything needs to be covered with forgiveness. She is slow to mumble stupid words of discouragement. She considers when it is appropriate to become angry. She is way past appearances and pretense. She surrounds herself with passionate contentment."

It was then that I realized that it wasn't patience I needed, it was peace. Without peace, I couldn't get through the frustrating feedings, the senseless screaming, etc. Patience to me was what I needed to endure those days, but peace! Peace is what I needed to endure and still enjoy those days...not ending up totally frustrated and worn out! I immediately changed my prayer and boy did God answer. Of course, I still loose my peace at times but we'll always be a work in progress, right? 

Now for patience, and Beth Moore's study....Day 4 of patience talked about forgiveness. I was recently very hurt by someone and needed to forgive them. I have said the words to the person needing the forgiveness. However, I can't shake the fact that I was hurt by the situation and that maybe I just let the person off the hook for what they did. This fact made me wonder if, in fact, I did forgive this person. I was consoled by Beth Moore's encouragement that forgiving someone quickly does NOT mean that we are "letting them off the hook" and that hurt still may be present. I can now truly believe that I did forgive the person. I thank God that I have that ability to forgive such a deep hurt with sincerity and move on with my life. I know that time will heal the hurt but it feels good to know that I do not have a body chained around my neck due to my lack of forgiveness.